I fear the world my kids are going to find when they grow up. One thing I hesitate to give advice on or blog about is parenting, because my oldest isn't yet 3 years old. It will be easy for anyone reading this to say, "She's just starting out, just wait until hers are old enough to talk back!" I know, I've heard that before. However, I haven't let people's opinions affect what I've written in the past, and I'm not going to do that today. I want to draw your attention to two different scriptures.
First, let's look at 2 Kings 2:1-14. Here's our first area of neglect; we no longer view parenting as training, No, Elijah was not Elisha's parent, but we can still take notes from him. He knew that he would be leaving, and he knew that Elisha would be taking his place, and he knew that someone would have to prepare him. So, he enrolled him in a prophet training program at the local High School and hoped that the people in charge would do an adequate job . . . right? Ummm, no. Elijah had a responsibility, and he did not try to find anyone else's shoulders to rest it upon. What was the result? Although we hear more about Elijah, the feisty prophet who called fire down from the sky, Elisha's was really the more effective ministry. Why do you think that is? What was Elisha's request before Elijah departed? Look again at vs 9. Elisha asked for a double portion of Elijah's spirit. OK, we'll come back to Elisha, but let's look at the next scripture I want to focus on.
Next up, Proverbs 22:6. Did you read it? Read it again. Got it? Literally speaking, this means to point them in the direction that they should go and they will never be lost. You cano't be lost if you know how to get to where you need to be, even if you choose not to go there. So the first thing we're neglecting is training, the second thing is pointing them in the right direction. What is the average parent in America aiming their child at? A prestigious college, a successful career, a 6 figure salary, a "life that I never had", and oh yeah . . . happiness. What about a penniless missionary who is passionately preaching the Word of God to lost and dying people in Africa? What about a pastor at a small church in East Texas whose name is never known beyond his congregation, but whose passion for the Lord is renown? What about a mother who never works outside of her home, but who raises up warriors for God's army? Now, tell me this, is a dentist the best thing your child could become?
Alright, I'll just caution you that I'm about to get worked up so the following might get wordy and aggressive, consider yourselves warned.
Here's the parenting mentality that our society has adopted that really gets my goat: "They are who they are regardless of what I do or say. They're going to do what they're going to do regardless of what I do or say. All I can do is tell them right from wrong and hope they choose right." How can that be? If that's really the case then what is God telling us in Proverbs 22:6? He didn't say train them up and hope, or train them up and cross your fingers and eat some lucky charms. He said "train him up in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." If your translation has any "ifs", "ands", or "buts" in there, throw it out and find one that's more accurate, because there are none!
Becoming a parent was a conscious decision, and you made it. There is no return policy, there's no "this one is defective I want another", there's no early retirement. When you made the decision you made a commitment to that child and to God, and you have got to follow through. I look at these little humans and everything in me wants to coddle them, and baby them, and do everything for them, but that is not my job. Yes, it would be easier on me emotionally, but I didn't sign up for easy. What I have to keep in mind is that I am not raising babies. I am raising 2 men, 2 fathers, 2 husbands, future leaders of families, of churches, and/or country. I am raising 1 woman, 1 mother who will have greater influence than anyone else upon her children, and 1 wife who will have the power to make or break her husband. When these kids are grown I don't ever want them to turn to me and say, "Mom, why did you not prepare me for this? Why did you make me think that the world revolves around me? Why did you give me everything I ever wanted? Why did you do this to me?"
When you tell me "Just wait until they're old enough to . . . ", that enrages me. People don't realize the weight that that statement holds with me. One, you're telling me that when they're old enough to have an attitude and challenge me, I'm going to throw my hands up in despair and abandon my responsibility to them and to God in order to make my kids "happy". You're telling me that when things get tough I'm going to put my own feelings and emotions in front of the well being of my children, and I'm going to let them grow up into sociopaths. I understand that when they get older this job get harder, but that does not justify me getting softer. My convictions are founded in scripture, and they will stand strong!
Let's refer back to Elijah and Elisha for a moment. If we don't train our kids to take our place, what's going to happen when we're dead and they're the leaders? Who is going to balance their check books, bail them out of jail, do their grocery shopping, or raise their kids? I read recently that many major corporations in America have now adopted policies for dealing with applicants' mothers, because these kids straight out of college can't come on job interview without their mom! Are you kidding me!? You have 18 years to prepare them for life, that means prepare them for life without you.
Here's my question to you: have you given up? If you're thinking it's too late for yours consider whether or not that's really true. Do you have any influence over them? Is your bank account supporting them in any way? Is your rhetoric enabling them in any way? Do they come to you for anything at all? Then you still have influence. If you want to blow this off as optimistic words by someone who hasn't yet faced the tough stuff, go head. But, you can't do that with God's Word. He gave us pretty clear instructions, "Point them toward Me." If parents would begin to take heed of that there would be a revolution in America.
At the end of this gig my greatest wish is that my children look at me and say, "Mom, I want a double portion of your spirit. You did a good job, but I want to do it twice as well!" Let's start a revolution. It begins with you.
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