We only have a few chapters to go of Shameless Audacity with Cory, be sure to get caught up before you continue reading:
Nearly 3 weeks have passed since the writing of the last chapter, The Faith Levels, and still no need.
Before you decide God is taking His sweet time with me, I’ll admit, I haven’t
really asked. The concept is not very hard to understand. I accept my disgrace,
I understand God is Father, I have even asked for specific needs and been
answered. But, seeking God outside my own intellect has proven to be a tall
order. Before answering to you in this next chapter, I wanted to discover the
reasons for my fear. I think I’ve got it.
A dear friend of mine called the other day to tell me a story about her son. I preached a sermon on Shameless Audacity a week before, and she wanted to share a story about that kind of prayer. Her son was laid off from his job. With a wife and four kids in tow, he needed work and he needed it fast. He interviewed in his field for a while, but settled on an ever available Texas oil field job. The problem is that the job requires being away from his family for weeks at a time. He prayed for God to help, and it seems God has heard his cry. None of the jobs for which he applied ever called back. But, one job he flippantly sent a resume before he was ever laid off called. In fact, it is in his new home town and seems to be a perfect fit. We are praying that it is the Lord’s will, but that is not really the point.
In that conversation, my friend said to me, “I’m glad he (her son)
prayed for that. I get your whole ‘shameless audacity’ thing. I don’t do it.
It’s not that I don’t think God can
do it, it’s that I don’t know why He would.”
She and I are very much alike. Once again, I find myself haunted by a turn of
phrase. My wife and I took a walk today. We both feel there is so much more out
there. We both feel an unsettling feeling that God has called us to something
more. This is where Jesus whispers, “You have not because you ask not.”
Before reading any further, turn back to the Table of Contents and
make note of the name of the second chapter. It is named Owning Disgrace. Writing that chapter took a toll on my spirit.
Humility is never easy for someone with a Y chromosome. When writing that
chapter, it felt that owning disgrace was the most challenging thing God could
ever ask someone to do. I was wrong. Owning disgrace is difficult. Owning
disgrace is the doorway to the second level of faith. One must use his
God-given intellect to comprehend his position in relation to God. Owning
disgrace may take you places, but it never takes you past that second level of
faith.
If owning disgrace is the doorway to the second level of faith,
accepting grace is the doorway to the third level of faith. Understanding that
God can answer prayers may be one of the coolest tricks to be learned on that
second plateau, but accepting the answers to those prayers is a skill only learned
outside our intellect.
I think most people like me. I think most people think I’m a
pretty talented guy. It’s too bad that we do not base our self image on what
others think. I base my own self image on my past experiences. I see a punk
teenager. I see someone who did not wait for his wedding day. I see someone that’s
wants a cigarette. I see someone that utterly failed as pastor of that Baptist
church up the road. I see someone who is scared to ask God an audacious
request, because it might be the excuse God needs to finally explain how He has
already given me more than I ever deserved. I’m not really sure how I formed
this image of God as an angry miser, but there is no denying it. When you cut
away the fat, the truth is clear.
That begs the question, If God is an angry disappointed old man,
what does He expect from me and how can I meet those expectations? As I search
my mental concordance, nothing comes to mind. God wants us all to be saved, God wants
us all to be baptized and join a local church, God wants us to carry out the Great Commission through that church, but
are these expectations or desires?
The word “expectation” carries the idea of judgment along with it.
Yes, God wants us to do these things,
but He doesn’t require these things. That
is both the blessing and curse of freewill. John 3:17 explains that God did not
send His Son into this world to condemn the world, but to save it. Jesus
clearly teaches that He will stand as Judge at the end of this Age, but Judge
is not on His current job description. One great preacher explained it in this
way:
“What He (Jesus) was when He was here on earth
is all-important to me, but what He is now is quite as much a matter of vital
consequence. Some set exceeding great store by what He shall be when He comes to
judge the earth in righteousness, and so do we. But we really think that Christ
in the future is not to be preferred to a knowledge of Christ in the present;
for we want to know today, in the midst of present strife, and present pain,
and present conflict, what Jesus Christ is now.”[1]
He is not surprised when we sin. He knows the depths of our sin
nature even more than we do. As long as we view God as an omniscient judge with
an omnipotent gavel over our heads, we will never truly accept His Grace. We
must learn to see Him as the Almighty vision of Revelation 1 who placed a
loving hand in the shoulder of John, His frightened child. We were saved by
grace, through faith, and that not of ourselves, so that we could not boast. We
were not saved because we had the ability to keep the rigid requirements of
discipleship. We do not remain saved because we keep that same list. Why, then,
do we expect God to require us to keep this list?
I say without hesitation that God truly desires for us to try to
the best of our ability. I also acknowledge that God is disappointed when we
fail. That does not mean that God is keeping some heavenly ledger that will
decide how much grace we are shown on this earth. How would anyone ever have
great, God-sized opportunities? Everyone would have too much red in the ledger.
God is not an employer, threatening to withhold pay for unfinished work. In
Christianity, we are self employed, and God is a loving friend and parent that
feels sadness for us when we miss out on pay because we choose to sit at home
and play spiritual X-box. He does not withhold
the abundant life. We choose to ignore
the abundant life.
King David messed up royally. Because of his past decisions, one
of his sons, Absalom, attempted to take over the kingdom. Rather than fight his
eldest son to the death, David chose to run. As he feared for his life in a
cold damp cave, he penned the words of Psalm 3. One verse strikes me at the
very heart. It says, “I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord
sustains me.” Without a doubt, David earned the cave. He understood that his
situation was his own making and that God, in spite of his sin, still acted as
Protector and Sustainer. He did not view God as a grudge-holding, angry man. He
always viewed God as loving and just. He slept.
In the 8th grade, I discovered the power of Marlboro. I
really enjoyed a good cigarette. Don’t worry, I’ve long since kicked the habit,
but this reminds me of a story. In my small hometown, everyone knows everybody and
everything about everybody, and yet I assumed my actions would be overlooked on
the street. One day, I was walking past the home of my basketball
coach, and decided it was time to light up. As soon as the lighter went out, I
saw my coach, and I knew he saw me. That night, I toiled in Old Testament style
anguish as I worked over and over on my speech. I was ready. At school the next
day, I sat down with my coach and said, “I’m sorry. I’ve let my team down and
I’ve let you down.” That’s when my coach threw me a curveball. He said, “You
didn’t let any of us down. You let yourself down. That’s why you are going to run until you run the smoke out of your lungs.”
Alone, without any of those I dreamed I had disappointed, I ran… a lot. Coach
wasn’t angry. The team wasn’t disappointed. I was just an idiotic 13 year old,
occasionally moved by the urges of an idiotic 13 year old. God sees our sin. He
is not surprised or uncontrollably disappointed. He knows what we are. He knows
how we are. He still loves us.
I would shudder to know the hours of sleep and the days of peace
lost because I thought God was angry with me. Our situations are our own doing,
not God’s. In spite of our decisions, God always longs to protect us and
sustain us.
If any prayer goes unanswered, be it audacious or not, the fault
is ours, not God’s. God is truly all-powerful and reserves the right to give
grace or not. When I decide that I cannot ask a request of God because I do not
deserve the grace, I make myself lord of the Lord. It is not my place to take
that decision from the almighty God of the Universe. Ask, seek, knock, and let
the Lord decide.
Father,
forgive me for withholding decision making power from You. You are Lord of all
and always make better decisions than I. Help me to accept Your Grace.
[1]
Sermons on the Book of Revelation,
C.H. Spurgeon
*Good words, Brother! I think this is my favorite chapter yet. Our natural human bend will always try to convince us that we have a hand in our own salvation, and that we are capable of doing something so horrendous that even God will be unable to forgive it, but those things are just not true. Grace is so much bigger. Be sure to visit Cory at MinistryMall.org, and check back next Monday for more!
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